After The Funeral

Sending thank you notes and acknowledgements

Acknowledgement cards or thank you notes should be sent to those who sent flowers, made donations or offered assistance in the days surrounding a death and funeral. There are many types of cards available from simple folded thank you notes to engraved stationery. Any type is acceptable. The funeral home serving your family may provide a selection for you to choose from. Etiquette does not require that you formally acknowledge telephone calls or visitors who signed the guest book.

Filing for Benefits

Insurance

Many times insurance is purchased to help pay for a funeral and burial. Making a claim for these benefits will require, in most cases, a certified copy of the death certificate and completion of certain claim forms. Your insurance agent will be able to assist you in making these claims. Even in the case of policies that have lapsed, it is wise to have an agent review the policies to see if any benefits remain.

Veterans' benefits

Honorably discharged veterans of the Armed Forces are eligible for a variety of benefits. Because these benefits are based on the type and length of service, it is wise to contact the Veterans Administration office in your area to assist in making claims. Your funeral professional will be able to assist with benefits such as the burial flag, military graveside honors and interment in national cemeteries. Most veterans' organizations such as the VFW and American Legion posts have officers who may be able to offer assistance.

Social Security, Medicare

If a deceased was insured under Social Security, benefits may be available to a surviving spouse or dependent children. Applications for both Social Security and/or Medicare benefits should be made with your nearest Social Security office.

Taking care of yourself

The days after a death and funeral are very stressful. There are many decisions to be made, many people to speak to, many emotions to address. The most important thing you can do is take care of yourself. Make sure you have regular meals, even if they are small ones. Try to rest when you feel tired. Understand that you will feel many emotions; and that you may cry one minute and laugh the next. This is normal. Don't let well-meaning friends tell you to "get over it" when in fact there is a great deal you must "go through" to recover from your loss. Allow yourself private time, but reach out to friends and loved ones also. Remember, grief shared is grief diminished. Understand there are many professionals you can depend on to help if the burden of recovering from your loss becomes too great.